Do You Love Me?

Subtitle: Fossils Don’t Ask For Feedback

Did you know that you should never ask a question in a court room you don’t know the answer to.  Unless you want a surprise.  Court room surprises – well they rarely break down in the witness box (stand is so American) and sob that they did it, are sorry and get forgiven and freed.  Just in case you didn’t know that is just in (American)(again) films.  So always be sure of the answer in a Courtroom.  And where it might take your client/opponent.  Prison or not etc.

Asking questions is so so useful.  Because getting vital information is.  We have dealt with where is the parcel store, what did you do in the lockdown and where is the burning candle and other vital questions of the hour, day or era already on Fossils Rock.  But where is the petrol station, please put your lifejacket on, or even, can I have a glass of wine now can in fact be life saving.  Or just situation saving.  I digress.

So back to the do you love me question.  Don’t ever ask that question unless like a top advocate you are very sure of the answer. Unless you like surprises. I love that Jack Nicholson and Shirley MacLaine film (Terms of Endearment) where the Jack character says that only answer to the sentence:

I love you.


I love you too.

And he called it his stock answer.  The absolute bugger.  He used must have used it a lot.  (He did).  Hilarious, but mean and slightly toe curling.  And being the user or recipient of both sentences is both.  Now I know I love you is a statement not a question.  I have a certain native intelligence and a basic education.  But in saying it I assume the asker is looking for a reaction.  Any reaction. A reaction is essential. Even the stock answer. Would be my suggestion (Your Honour).

Asking: Do you love me?  Well.  Rocking fossils know when they are flogging a dead horse.  There is really no need to flog it into saying something meaningless.  On top of all the flogging it is just more exhaustion and toe curlingness.  Best that you just vary one of any respectable Rocking Fossil’s stock statements.  The useful “If you have to ask the question you won’t understand the answer”.  A polite fossil will never actually say this.  They will just think it and use it to identify the non-rocking fossil.  Usually from a distance of 100 paces. 

Anyway. Say to yourself (quietly with no audience participation or witness box inmate or Judge): If you have to ask the question you really don’t need to.  You know the answer.

You can ask for other feedback.  But do you like my dress, do red cords go with this jacket, shall I order a cab.  You just know the answer.  A very drunk fossil may say variously only when you take it off, no, and I’m far too drunk to drive but as rocking fossils know their limits (mostly) you may just get a polite stock answer.  A simple yes.  So useful.  So non confrontational.  So final.  Polite.  Whisking on to safer ground. 

So save feedback for the endless questionnaires that the young seem to think we want to fill in as part of selling us stuff.  Back to do you love me.  A Rocking Fossil will not be asking.