RHINESTONES AND PICKLED FISH

Every travel agent’s nightmare.  That request. A precis of the call: Get that on the itinerary please.  What rhinestones and pickled fish.  Yes.  My wife likes glitter and glam and country music and I like to eat obscure ancient European food.  Are you sure you don’t want a lovely fortnight in the Maldives.  There will […]

WHAT DID YOU DO IN THE LOCKDOWN?

Don’t get me wrong I am finding the vast number of videos and photographs (humorous) circulating the internet during the pandemic lockdowns very entertaining.  I hope they soon break whatsapp.  In the future will we be asked by the very young the above nail biting question.  The guilt/vague feeling of unease/paranoia aroused by the slogan […]

FOSSILS ROCK WORDS

Fossils will be absolutely fine when the ban on words comes in.  Having decided to ban words to make sure the citizens calm down and stop disagreeing with them and each other, the government have retired to the contemplation of their work.  Without words what in fact are they?  The government.  They can’t tell you […]

WHAT TO DO WITH A FOSSIL

OR Fossil Time and Fossil Presents Ask not what your Fossil can do for you, ask what you can do for your Fossil.  With that (plagiarised) question JFK roused the people of America to think how they could serve their country.  So, let’s apply it to the Fossil in your life.  This might be a […]

FOSSILS ROCK A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE: GOLDILOCKS THE HOUSEBREAKER

Let’s make Goldilocks the villain.  A housebreaking, food stealing, chair smashing, unapologetic, run away.  A real princess. She always got the good press didn’t she.  Those scary bears, that too hot porridge.  The hopeless chairs.  Never that she was actually a burglar, thief and vandal.  Whoever would have thought it.  What was the moral of […]

FOSSILS ROCK FOOD

Rocking Fossils love food – tastes, smells – anything delicious – from oysters and succulent beef to home made jam and the smell of bread.  It brings back memories, it makes us smiles – we love it.   A little of anything delicious beats a load of the average.  We could have been French.  Could have […]

THE MEERKAT DEFENCE

Yes Fossils watch adverts.  We have a certain native intelligence.  And an interest in the outside world and all it has to offer.  I just don’t understand the meerkats.  In smoking jackets.  To me they look quite stupid, a bit silly even, so why would you buy something from them. And no I am not […]

FOSSILS ROCK CHILDREN?

I have resisted writing about them. These children.  Not everyone has them, likes them, needs to go on about them if they have them, or if they don’t.  They are endlessly fascinating in the media.  And to the media.  Secretly I don’t think they have as much fun as we did and it all seems […]

FOSSILS ROCK THE HIGH STREET

Or: Where is the Parcel Store? Witness the scene:  a long snaking queue in the post office.  You have 11 minutes before the post goes and you need to get your notarised business documents into that bag.  In front of you are at least 6 people queueing to post parcels.  Some post offices have really […]

FOSSIL STATEMENT

EVERYONE SEEMS TO BE RELEASING ONE – a statement that is. This is ours: “We must dance now.  Now – we don’t know when the next chance will come.“ Thank goodness for my friend Caroline in summer 2019.  This was her statement – adopted for use by this site. Do not confuse dancing with the […]